As parents, sending your child to college is a whirlwind of emotions.
On the one hand, you beam with pride as they take those first steps toward independence and adulthood. Yet, if your child has always been deeply rooted in your church community, it’s only natural to feel a sense of trepidation. The thought of how they’ll maintain their faith and find spiritual grounding on a secular campus can be undeniably worrisome. However, there are ways to support your child in this faith journey while allowing them to shape it according to their personality and interests.
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I often think back to “The Jesus Revolution,” a film set in the tumultuous 1970s. It narrates the story of Greg Laurie and a group of young people who ventured to Southern California to challenge societal norms. Amid this counterculture movement, Laurie found faith through unconventional means. This tale underscores the resilience of belief even in non-traditional settings, something that’s important to remember.
The movie reminded me that, first and foremost, the foundation of faith you’ve helped your child build is invaluable. Your unconditional love and the values you’ve instilled in them will be a guiding light when you give your child some latitude.
Allow them to explore and connect with like-minded individuals in diverse settings. Encourage them to venture into Fellowship for Christian Athletes, attend student-led worship services, or become part of faith-based clubs and organizations, but be patient. They may go a few directions during their first year or two, but college requires parental prayer and faith.
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Ultimately, fellowship is most crucial for belonging and spiritual growth. For those like me who are drawn to learning about new and different things, consider suggesting that your child engage with interfaith groups on campus. While it’s natural to have concerns about them exploring other faiths, these groups provide a platform for open dialogue and understanding among students of different religious backgrounds. Some of these encounters may lead to educational opportunities abroad, like the Passages program to Israel. On a young leaders’ exchange, I learned that a trip to the Holy Land reinforces faith and fosters an appreciation for global connections.
Acknowledging that church attendance among college students can dwindle due to busy schedules and shifting priorities is essential. In today’s digital age, numerous online platforms can help your child connect with their faith community, even when they can’t attend church. (Yes, they might oversleep after a late-night party—I know you don’t want them to, but it happens!) Or they could find a 5 pm music service that suits their schedule. The key is the connectedness with those who believe in Christ, not just weekly Sunday School or adhering to liturgy every time.
Furthermore, many college campuses and local ministries offer opportunities for students to engage in volunteer work, such as participating in hunger programs, volunteering with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, or supporting organizations like Wounded Warriors. These experiences allow your child to live out their faith while positively impacting their community. While your son or daughter may not earn a gold star for church attendance, these actions nourish their soul and contribute to their spiritual growth. Plus, they create long-lasting friendships with good kids.
While we may hope that our children will maintain their faith the same way they were raised, college is a time of exploration and self-discovery. Sending your child to college is a significant step in their life journey, including their spiritual journey. It’s important to foster fellowship and remain receptive to alternative spiritual paths rooted in the core values they absorbed during their upbringing: generosity, humility, and grace.
With your continued love and support, your child can flourish in their faith while navigating the challenges of college life. And if they stumble along the way, be there to pick them up, hug them, and remind them that setbacks are a natural part of growing up.
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Lisa Gable is a CEO, former US Ambassador, UN Delegate, and author of Wall Street Journal and USA Today Bestseller “Turnaround – How to Change Course When Things Are Going South.” Lisa is recognized worldwide as a turnaround mastermind and innovative businesswoman and started her career in the Reagan administration.
