Time to toss Grandma’s ‘no poltiics or religion at the dinner table’ rule; our future depends on it

OPINION:

Here we are again, getting ready to attend family gatherings over the holidays. It can be the best of times and the worst of times in so many ways.

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For decades, family traditions have been preserved, tweaked, enjoyed and embellished. Recipes have been altered and games have been played or watched. Yet one thing across America remains the same: The long-standing agreement that most American families have is to avoid discussing religion or politics at family gatherings.

Although we say this tongue-in-cheek, it has almost become a cultural rule. Americans tend to be quite independent in our thinking, but we also tend to prefer a peaceful holiday experience. Thus, Grandma’s rule of “no religion or politics at the dinner table” seems to work.

Or has it?

There is no doubt that our focus should be on gratitude for our family, our blessings and our country, but have our peaceful holidays been enjoyed at a cost to society as a whole? Have we forgotten that every family moment is a chance to teach our children by example?

Politics is always downwind of culture, and American culture begins in the home. If the culture in our homes discourages open dialogue and debate and if arguments are allowed to become heated and personal, is it any wonder that we have seen our national dialogue become more and more divisive?

If parents do not do their due diligence to know the truth of American history, world history or to study what they believe and why, we are not prepared to create a culture of healthy, informed discussions in our homes. And that is where culture starts. 

Children will always have questions. They will challenge the rules, question the facts and demand proof in a subconscious desire to feel secure and confident. As a parent, being prepared with facts, thought-provoking questions and resources to provide to them, takes work.

I would suggest doing a little study and being prepared to ask thought-provoking questions like: What role did faith play in the founding of America? When and why did American people of faith begin to lose our influence? Should people of faith be involved in American politics today? What is our role now, in this present crisis of American decline? Are we too late to make a difference?

It takes diligence mixed with kindness to present truth to a searching child, but it is worth it. For almost a century, the family unit has been under attack from cultural humanists who see it as the ultimate form of authoritarian rule. The family represents the natural order established by God, and of course, it flies in the face of the beliefs of the cultural humanists who want society to accept their tenant that man is the ultimate authority and that there is no God. Things like this can be discussed in our homes in ways that prepare our children to understand the debate, our own conclusions based on the facts and the realities of life as they prepare to be a contributing members of society.

When we mark any important subject as “untouchable” at family gatherings, we miss out on teachable moments with our children. When we engage in an important adult discussion with family members on issues that affect our world and when we exemplify a kind, open and honest discussion about things that affect our lives on a daily basis, our children will learn how to hold a civil discourse, face to face. We will empower them with the tools to do the same. Even if we end up on different sides of an issue, our children will learn from how we handle that difference. Being able to agree to disagree is a lost art, but it’s time we rediscovered the skill.

Whether we like it or not, the world is watching America. They see us more divided than ever before. If we think that the foundation of our nation seems to be crumbling, then let’s do something about it!

Our government, founded on God’s natural law was purchased by the first generation and given as a gift to be safeguarded by each succeeding generation. At times it was safeguarded by a majority and at times by a remnant. I pray that in our generation there will be found at least a remnant of the faithful who will fight boldly to renew our natural rights and to gift them to the next. When people of faith take up the mantle of responsibility and are “valiant for truth,” we will not only renew our nation, but the light of the truth we share will shine brightly to the entire world.

Let’s start a new tradition at our family holiday table and create a culture of openness, kindness, truth and security. Let’s search out truth, be prepared with the facts and information we need to know and let’s welcome an open discussion of all subjects in our homes. If our children don’t feel free to ask questions at home, they will ask them somewhere else.

There is a great cloud of witnesses watching us from the battlements of heaven who sacrificed so much to give us a free nation and the least we can do is to exercise our freedom to create a positive, informative culture of curiosity and learning in our homes. The world is watching us, hoping that we will continue to be the bastion of freedom and a light of hope to the world that we have been for centuries.

Our children are watching us. And most of all, I believe that God is watching us. It will take courage to start a new tradition. It will take extra work, acts of grace and an extra effort to present truth with kindness in our homes, but if we do it, we will change American culture one family at a time.

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Excerpts from “The Spiritual Price of Political Silence”