Save your family, save America: Go home for dinner

OPINION:

“God places the lonely in families” — Psalm 68:6

Today, the American family is in freefall. Marriage is on the decline, and raising children is seen as more of a burden than a blessing. People are spending less time with loved ones, and a report by the surgeon general announced that this country is facing an “epidemic of loneliness and isolation.” Surveys reveal that around half of adults in the United States say they are lonely.

It’s clear that families are in trouble. And when families are in trouble, America is in trouble.

The very existence of the traditional family is at risk as marriage becomes less and less popular. In 2020, nearly one-third of households in the U.S consisted of one person, but in 1940, less than 1 in 10 American homes were made up of just one person. A study by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research found that the marriage rate has dropped nearly 60% since the 1970s.

A 2023 Pew Research Center report also found that parents are more concerned about their children’s careers and financial futures than they are with their having a family of their own. Eighty-eight percent of respondents said it was extremely important to them that their children be financially independent or have jobs they enjoy, but only around 20% said the same about their kids getting married or having children.

It seems that we’ve lost our sense of self as a nation precisely because we’ve lost our sense of family. The family is considered a component to our busy social and professional lives, but the truth is, it is the core. It is the underpinning of all we can hope to accomplish, and it doesn’t effortlessly become stable and secure. It must be cultivated, and it’s up to you to do it.

The Bible is clear on the importance of marriage: “Husbands, love your wives,” “a wife should respect her husband,” (Ephesians 5:25, 33). “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) and “manage [your] own family well” are some of the highlights (1 Timothy 3:4).

God wants our marriages and our families to be our priority. And I believe when we make God’s priorities our priorities, we are blessed.

But in the 21st century, too many Americans have relied on popular culture or the government to support their families instead of taking on the task themselves. In my career in public life, I have stood behind incentives in laws that support the family, whether it is through supporting traditional marriage, ending the marriage penalty tax, promoting pro-adoption legislation, or providing paid family leave to federal employees.

Initiatives like these benefit families, but ultimately, no government program will ever replace the power and impact of the individual family. Our standing on the world stage and our economic might are not built on the strength of our politics. The destiny of America is in the hands of the people, and the strength of America is ultimately grounded in the strength of the American family.

Democracy depends on heavy doses of civility, but today our civil discourse has weakened as Americans are losing the art of discussing issues with one another. Our divisive politics is not just contributing to our lack of connection — it is a result of it. We are not coming together where it is most necessary, and we are seeing the consequences. There is a tradition we have put to the side, a place we have let gather dust: the dinner table.

Across the dinner table, you are taught manners and respect. You learn to wait your turn and share with others. You celebrate your culture and the culture of others.

As we know from experience, families are not monolithic, and are made up of diverse viewpoints. American families are spending less time with one another, which has likely led to a deterioration in our ability to respectfully disagree. From 2003 to 2020, time spent socializing with members of family in a household went down by five hours per month, and social isolation rose 24 hours per month.

The breakdown of the family is also the precursor to tyranny. As Americans, we are beginning to see this happen, and we should be concerned. Our lack of connectedness has led to a dearth of core beliefs, an increase in isolation, and an erosion of liberties and American values.

So, a strong family unit isn’t just a nice idea. It is the first step in returning this country to its core values, which, grounded in faith, are the bedrock of our nation.

We look too often to politicians to fix what is plaguing our country, but to bring America back to the fullness of strength that saw us through our revolution, a civil war, a depression, and two world wars, we must look closer to home.

If you want a stronger America, first strengthen your own home. If you, like many Americans, are wondering what you can do to get our country back on a path of prosperity and give it a brighter future, put your family first today. If you want to help America, go home for dinner.

It should be clear that we have no other view than this: The ultimate cure for what ails America will not be found in the board rooms of this country or the halls of government, but at the dinner table, where our faith and family are renewed.

We have faith in America; we have faith in her people. As more Americans will put faith and family first, we know the best days for the greatest nation on Earth are yet to come.

Save your family. Save America. Go home for dinner.